liFe

Life's like having a cup of tea,

you sit by the window,

lift the cup and take a fresh sip,

only to realise somebody forgot to put sugar on it.

Too lazy to go for it,

you somehow struggle through that sugarless cup.

Till you discover undissolved sugar crystals sitting at the bottom...

That how life is...

We do not make efforts to value what is with and around us...

So, look around,

maybe the sweetness you are looking for closer than you think...

cute cute..

This is ah cute - my new family member. It is 2 years old, like to eat KFC popcorn and Wall's Moo ice cream. Ah cute will bark if there are no people around it, don't know why.. Um, maybe it scare to stay alone. Ah cute got a bit tien ji tien ji de, follow us no matter where we go. Its never feel tired, active all the times. But its drink a lot and eat a lot, automatically, pang sai and niao niao also a lot. Haiz, my sister start complain that ah cute luan luan bian bian. Adohai.. Mr. Cute ar, please he zuo yi dian la, fang bian at the place that we ready for you, don't simply ikut your perasaan, luan luan pang sai.. If not that one ah ching wanna pukul you liao lo..

mY dEar fRieNd

first semester
you are first friend in class..although we know each other in orientation week but never know that we are coursemate..very happy when knowing you are my coursemate, the feeling just like i meet my family member in a strange place..we become best friends since first semester..very close friends..i know your happiness and sadness..we share the experiences together..we have the same thought..

second semester
we still the same..joining ghost zai..got many many conflicts with our new gangs..but, we still very close..

third semester
still got many many problems with ghost zai..and you have problems with her..i am still at your side and support you..in these semester too, you start close with him..

fourth semester
you two become best friends..very very close, ever close than me..you started forgetting me..forget our friendship..yes, i am jealous, angry and sad..maybe because i loss you, as my best friends..maybe because you are mine, best friends for one and half years, but you shift to him..maybe... ...i also don't understand..but, i thought that if he can become your listener and make you happy, i don't mind..as long as you are happy..

fifth semester
many things happened, full with sadness...i lost many many things, include you, my best friend..in this semester, i saw and realize many things too...i realize that many things are change, include you...i thought i am your best friend..but, the reality is no..i am still try to protect you from those people, but you don't..you never help me to explain it..is it you really don't know or you don't understand me?i try my best to maintain our relationship but you don't..you are forgetting me already...maybe i am not good enough??maybe i just your super super normal friend...maybe you are busy with your new relationship with him...maybe i am a bad people...maybe...i don't know...i no more important to you..when i need you, when i am sad, when i am down, when i am sick, when.....you are not beside me...i am so disappointed..so so so disappointed...so, i choose to let you go..i choose to become your "normal" friend only...i won't put you in my heart anymore...the past beautiful memories just put in my deeply heart...
suddenly, you claim that all of us starting forgetting you...huh, you said i am forgetting you...i really do not understand why you will say so...i wonder that do you ever think that is it we are forgetting you and what is the reasons??is it possible that ALL of us have the same thought and feeling to forget you??is it our fault that forgetting you??and do you ever think that where is the problem??
recently, i have read your blog..you said that you believe in miracle, but, what i want to tell you is don't ever trust in miracle..the words which miracle will happen one day..blaa blaa blaa..all is bullshit!!!i will never and ever believe in miracle anymore..the more you believe, the more you disappointed..you said you hope that all of us will together just like previous semester...i do not sure that your hope will come true or not...but the thing that i am very sure is our friendship already change, the feeling is not the feeling like before...cause i already choose to let our friendship become memories...cause i do not wish to become a friend which you just remember me when you are free and lonely...i feel hurt when you just remember me when you are in trouble or lonely...really hurt...just blame me if you think that it is unfair to you...i don't mind...because maybe it is really is my fault, is my problems...

sorry my dear, i never thought that our friendship will become like this...i also hope that our friendship can till forever, but that just is my dream but not yours...dream, just a dream..never will came true...dream become nothing after we awake from sleep...so, i am stop dreaming already...but, don't worry, you still my friend...i will help you if you need my help...thank you that you have become my best friend for many semester...i appreciate it...best wishes for your studies, new relationship, friendship... ...everything...

last semester
i don't what will happen..cause life is unpredictable!!!just hope that i will become more mature and tough...

rAiniNg dAy

最近，常下雨，那潮湿的天气给我的感觉讨厌又喜欢。为什么呢？因为下雨可让我睡得超好的，可是，雨天却让我很不经意地想起你...我会想你过得好吗？你开心吗？幸福吗？我想现在的你应该过得好好吧！那我也该加油了吧，好让自己过得开心点...

可是，现在的我，又开始想你了... ...

feel bad...

speechless...
don't know what can i do...
really don't know...
feel to cry now...
but can't...
i have to be tough...

gOOd vs bAd

好人：
当他给你很多好处的时候，他就是好人。
当他顺你意的时候，他就是好人。
当他常常对你笑的时候，他就是好人。
当他什么都说好的时候，他就是好人。
当他对你说甜言蜜语的时候，他就是好人。
当他告诉你别人秘密的时候，他就是好人。
人前人后的人，是个好人。
挑破离间的人，是好人。

坏人：
不喜欢笑的人，他就是坏人。
常说不的人，他就是坏人。
经常一个人的人，他就是坏人。
帮人保密的人，，他就是坏人。
常常唱反调的人，不是好人。
宅男宅女，是坏人。
说事实的人，也是坏人。
做回自己的人，是坏人。

hUmAn???

人，到底是个聪明还是笨蛋的动物呢？？如果人是聪明的，那为什么他们看不出哪些是真心，而哪些事假的呢？那又为什么人不用大脑想东西呢？不用心去感受呢？如果人是聪明的，那为什么偏偏就是选择相信表面功夫，而不去了解真相呢？那为什么人只喜欢甜言蜜语而不是忠言呢？如果人是聪明的，那为什么明明知道不是真的，却选者相信呢？

哪，如果说人是个笨蛋的动物，那又为什么人那么厉害到可以人前人后，两种性格的呢？那为什么明明讨厌你，却可以在你面前跟你很好，在你背后又做很多小动作来陷害你呢？为什么可以表面上跟你很好，在背后有捅你一刀呢？如果人是笨蛋，那为什么明明是他的错，她可以说到是别人的错呢？为什么人可以厉害到家的都变成真的？如果人是笨蛋，为什么人可以把谎言说到像个事实？为什么人可以为他的谎言找到很好的理由呢？

back to unimas...

回到学校，原来一切都没变。当初还以为回去休个息，回来后一切都会过去，可是，什么都没变，和以前一样。其实，自己还真的天真，还跟朋友说，假期回来以后，一切都会变得更好，骗人的，全都是骗人的... ... 都说变了嘛，真么可能回到从前呢？还期待些什么呢？我想我应该告诉自己别傻了，该醒了... ...我想我是不是应该把“期待”、“希望”这些骗人的字眼从此在我脑海里删除了呢？没有希望，就不会有失望，这应该比较好吧！

forgive...

100天，时间过得真快，妈，你离开我们100天了... ... 你有想我吗？我想告诉你，我好想你。。真得很想。。最近在店里，遇到妈妈的朋友，她说以前妈妈有在，她常来找妈妈说心事，现在妈妈不在了，她也不来店里了... ... 妈妈的回忆，到处都是，每个角落都有... ... 看了，心好疼好疼... ...人，真是一个讨厌的动物。拥有时不会珍惜，失去后才感到后悔、遗憾... ... 遗憾，是一辈子的，永远弥补不了... ... 妈，原谅我好吗？原谅我不是个好女儿，原谅我的不孝，原谅我什么都做不到， 原谅好吗？

untitle..

很享受玩乐的过程，蛮开心的。一圈人吃吃喝喝，聊聊是非，时间过得真快。不过，回到了宿舍，心情又不一样了，有点失落，闷闷的...那种心情的差异，很大，就仿佛一分钟前你是在天堂的，可是下一分钟却又跌下谷底...最糟糕的是，你跌下谷底后，怎么高声呼喊求救，却没人听见！我好累哦...

you... ...

你的努力，
我看见了，
也感受到了...

可是，
一切都过去了，
你再怎么努力，
再也回不去了...

因为，
你变了，
而我也一样...
你不再是以前的你，
我也不是以前的我...

我已经选择放手了，
那，你也该放弃了吧！

谢谢你曾经在我生命中出现过，
我不会忘记你的...

最后，
祝你幸福...

语无伦次

我，
还是扮演者照顾人的角色，
什么时候，
倒回来，
让被人照顾自己呢？

好累，
我真的好累，
付出了那么多，
为什么到最后，
自己又变成了坏人呢？
不明白，
我真的不明白...

人，
真是恐怖！
人前人后，
不同的性格，
不同的说法，
不同的行为，
不懂哪是真、哪是假的，
猜不透...

我，
好害怕，
不懂该怎么办，
不想在受伤害了，
心已经碎了，
再也承受不了任何压力...

你，
不要再靠近我了，
忽冷忽热，
我受不了...

你，
请你关心该关心的人，
和你想关心的人，
也请你离我远远的...

我讨厌你！
超讨厌你的！
讨厌你！讨厌你！讨厌你！
我讨厌死你了！！！！！！

goodbye lo...路人...

我看不清前方的路，
原来是烟雾把我的双眼挡住了... ...
其实，
人们的双眼往往不是常被周围的东西挡住了吗？
令我们看不清自己，也看不清别人... ...

就好像，
人往往会因为眼前的鲜花，
而忽略了鲜花旁的杂草... ...
不管杂草多么的努力抬头，
它还是被忽略了... ...
等到鲜花被拔起，
人们才会发现，
没有了杂草的陪伴，
鲜花的美也不会长久... ...

你认为杂草它可怜吗？

其实，
杂草一点都不可怜！！
没有了鲜花的陪伴，
它也不会枯死，
反而会更加努力的抬头，
好让那些懂得欣赏它的人看见... ...

朋友们，
不要因为那些不懂得欣赏或珍惜你的路人而伤心！！
路人始终还是路人，
他们还是会走的。
请相信，
懂得欣赏你的人还在后方，
耐心的等待吧！！

loSt cOntRol...

again,
i lost my control,
in front of you all...

maybe some of you will think:
argh!!!walao ey!!!again...
fan bu fan ar ni????

maybe some of you will think:
what wrong with her??
suppose to happy happy de..
what la she???

maybe some of you will think:
sampat a..
got begitu stress meh???

maybe some of you all will think:
ai shi..
what i gonna do???

so, sorry my dear "friends"...
no matter what are you all thinking,
i don't mind...
if you feel that i am bothering you all,
i just can say sorry...

Citation...

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
我愛你不是因為你是誰，而是我在你面前可以是誰。

No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
沒有男人或女人是值得你為他流眼淚，值得的那一位，不會要你哭。

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

那人不是你所想般愛你，但不代表那人不是全心全意地愛你。

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

一個真正的朋友是向著你伸手，觸動你心靈的人。

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
掛念一個人最差的方式，就是你坐在他身旁，而知道你不能擁有他。

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
就算你不快樂也不要皺眉，因為你永不知道誰會愛上你的笑容。

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

在世界裡你可能只是某人，但對某人你可能是全世界。

Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

不要花時間在一個不會花時間在你身上的人。

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

可能神要我們在遇到那位對的人之前先遇上一些錯的人，讓我們遇到那位對先生 對小姐時懂得珍惜。

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

不要因為完結而哭，要為曾經發生而微笑。

There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

這個世界永遠也會有一些傷害你的人，你要做的就是繼續去信人和小心你下次信的人。

Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
在你嘗試了解其他人和盼望其他人明白你之前，先把你自己變成一個更好的人和了解你自己。

Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

不要太努力去找，最好的東西是在你最預計不到的時候出現。

wArm

Raining day..
it's cold..
suddenly my friend nudge me..

friend : how are you?
friend : long time din contact liao..
me : fine o..you?
friend : normal life..
friend : why all your private message so sad de?
friend : anything happen to you?
me : where got o??
me : you mean the sky is crying?
me : no la, here always raining ma, so i wonder that the sky is crying ma..
friend : oic..
friend : you do not change you hp number right? did you saw my sms that day?
me : yes.. i saw it.. thanks ya..
friend : en.. good..
friend : must take care ya..
friend : kambadek!!

i know what my friend wanna told me..
i really do..
but, i talk lie to her..
i said i am okay..
and yet,
there are many things happen to me..
actually,
i am so so so sad..

but,
her concern give me warm,
in this cold night..
touching..

some more,
she remind me one thing,
my personal message is so sad..

i never thought that my friend will read my personal message..
but, my friends really do..
i never realise that my personal message is sad..
but, yes, it is quite sad..

i can't remember that since which day, my life is in sadness..
last semester??
i really can't remember..

i can't remember that since which day, i lost my smiling face..
this semester??
i don't know..

now,
the sky is keep going on crying..
and,
my heart too..

prOmiSe

believe...
i trust you...
but, i am disappointed...

someone told me that you said you are tired... ...
tired, a simple word...
but make me down...
why??
because i fail to be your friend...
you are tired with me...
speechless...
don't know what to say...

since you are tired,
okay,
i promise you,
won't bother you anymore...
that is my promise... ...
although i do not believe in promise,
but i make the promise...
hope that i can make it...

lesson:
don't believe too easily
because the is a LIE in the word of believe...

tHe sKy is cRyinG

the weather of these two days, wet...
just like my mood...
MOODY...
i am thinking of is it the heaven also have the same mood as me??
huh...impossible...don't dreaming la!!!

semester break almost end,
but, what i have done in the holiday???
the answer is NOTHING!!!
i have spend my time with nothing!!!
walao ey...
how come bo??
i also don't know...
what i can say is LosT...
i am lost my way, lost my mind, lost my ... ... ...
lost, lost, totally lost... ...
haiz...
who can save me???

lost and found...

突然发现戒子不见了，急死了，
过后又给我把它找回来，
有种失而复得的感觉，
超高兴的...

我心就在想，
那妈妈呢？
如果老天爷肯给我失而复得的话，
那该有多好呢... ...

useless...

妈妈，她给了我生命，给了我最好的照顾、关心，给我一个快乐又安全的生长环境。可是，身为女儿的我又给了妈妈些什么呢？叛逆、欺负和担心！！想起妈妈劳劳碌碌了半辈子就是为了她的家，可是到最后她却还没开始享福就离开我们了，这样公平吗？

还记得在医院的那段时间，妈妈她一定很难熬吧！可是我只能看着妈妈受苦，什么都做不到。每天到医院去，除了帮妈妈抹抹身体、按摩，就没有其他了。现在，妈妈走了，我唯一能做的就是帮她照顾家里，可是，我还是什么都做不到... ...

妈妈走后，爸爸表面上看起来没事，我知道他一定很伤心吧！从两个人的生活变成一个人，爸爸他一定很孤单吧！以前有妈妈帮他打理一切，现在就只剩他自己一个了... ...每次看他一个人静静地坐着，不懂再想些什么，他是不是想妈妈了？？我好想帮妈妈陪陪爸爸，照顾爸爸，可惜，我离家太远了，什么都做不到。我还想帮妈妈照顾公公婆婆和妹妹，可是，我就是帮不到... ...我觉得自己很没用，什么都做不到！！

现在的我，真的很无助，很想找人求救，可是我不懂自己可以找谁... ...
心好痛，快喘不过气来了，很辛苦，好累... ...

给老天爷的信...

老天爷，难道您没有听到我在祈祷吗？那一天，医生说妈妈熬不过那个晚上的时候，我向您祈祷了。我告诉您说，我还没有机会孝顺妈妈，请您不要那么快把她带走。如果您愿意的话，我可以把一半的寿命给妈妈，只要您不把那么快把她带走就好。可是最后您还是把她带走了...

老天爷，可不可以告诉我您把妈妈带去那里了？是天国吗？天国是个怎么样的地方呢？妈妈在那里还习惯吗？妈妈幸福吗？

老天爷，如果我再次向您祈祷，您会听得到吗？我想请您帮我好好地照顾妈妈，请您让妈妈每天都开开心心的，请您帮我告诉妈妈我好想她、好爱她...

我就拜托您了，老天爷...

i am sorry..

926，对不起，真的真的很对不起！！我真得很失败，身为朋友，不但帮不了你，就连你不开心我都不知道... 我实在没用，对不起！

一至以来，我都是以普通朋友的身份出现在你身边，你的问题、烦恼，我都不曾过问。可是我希望你知道，不是我不想过问，不是我不想帮你，不是我不关心你。因为我相信，如果你想告诉我的话，你会自动的告诉我。如果你不想说，我怎么问都不会有答案，反而会让你觉得更烦。

你要知道，其实，你并不孤单，你不是一个人的... 如果哪天你需要我的帮忙，我都会无条件地帮你。如果哪天你需要我的安慰、需要我的支持，我会想在你身边给你安慰与支持。如果哪天你需要人聆听你的故事，我可以当你的听众。如果哪天你需要肩膀依靠，我可以借你。如果哪天你需要人陪，我都愿意抽空陪你。就只要你开口而已，大家都很愿意地去帮你。还记得我告诉你的吗？如果我只剩20%的力量，我也会把10%的力量给你，好让你勇敢的面对你的问题。就只要你开口而已...

快乐不是每天都有，
难过也只是一时而已，
忘掉烦恼吧！
没有下不停的雨，
雨后也会有美丽的彩虹出现！

加油哦！

what will you think???

When your friend show you a black face, what will you think?
Will you think that he/she is rude?
But, besides you are thinking that he/she is rude, will you think about the reason why he/she will show his/her black face?

When your friend do not talk with you, what will you think?
Will you think that he/she very "hao lian"?
But, besides you are thinking that he/she is "hao lian", will you think about the reason why he/she do not want to talk with you?

When your friend is get angry with you, what will you think?
Will you think that he/she is petty?
but, besides you are thinking that he/she is petty, have you ever think why he/she is get angry on you?

When your friend is started keep at a distance with you, what will you think?
Will you think that your friend do not want to be a friend with you anymore?
But, besides you are thinking that your friend do not want to be your friend, will you think that what is the reason that he/she is keep at a distance with you?

Everything that happen must got the reasons.. Dont ever think that there are others problem before understand the situation.. Use your heart to treat your friend.. Listen to them and try to understand them.. Dont just make conclusion by your own..
Lastly, the most important thing is dont HURT your friend!!

** Dear all my friends:
I am sincere to become your friend.
But i found that i need you all and yet you all dont.
Maybe i am not good enough.
I am sorry if i have hurt you all.
Really sorry...

one litre of tears... ...

我听说，“眼泪是天使身上的钻石，非常珍贵的，所以不要轻易的抛弃它，因为天使会伤心的”。如果这是真的，那我的天使一定很伤心，因为我一点都不珍惜它的钻石。

还记得看过的一部戏 《一公升的眼泪》，那时候还真的哭得稀里哗啦的，连自己到认不得自己。戏中的女主角很坚强，她说她虽然流了一公升的眼泪，不过她没有放弃，因为她妈妈都没放弃她，所以她也不会放弃自己。最近，我也体会到了什么是一公升的眼泪。以前的我，不会轻易的流眼泪尤其是在朋友面前。不管我有多伤心、多么的委屈，我都不会哭，因为我不想大家都认为我很脆弱。现在的我，不像从前的我，不能再像以前那么坚强、那么勇敢。眼泪成为了我的常客，经常来看我。虽然我不喜欢它，可是它就是常来找我，我控制不了，我不知道该怎么办好...好不喜欢现在的自己，讨厌这样的我...

请问有谁可以救我吗？

朋友，当你们看见我流泪时，可不可以帮我把它擦干？？

please...

because of care, that why i am sad..

because of understand, that why i am disappointed..

i try my best to protect you all, but what i get is just hurt..

is it my false?

why you all will think i am a bad people?

what i have done?

can you all tell me??..

Dear my friends,

please dont just think at your own point..

please stand by your friends side and think..

please understand the situation before make conclusion..

please dont just listen from others..

please understand the situation with your own eyes and mind..

Citation - quite meaningful,I think..

遇到你真的愛的人時，要努力爭取和他相伴一生的機會，因為當他離去時，一切都來不及了...

遇到可相信的朋友時，要好好和他相處下去，因為在人的一生中，可遇到知己真的不易。

遇到人生中的貴人時，要記得好好感激，因為他是你人生的轉折點。

遇到曾經愛過的人，記得微笑向他感激，因為他是讓你更懂愛的人。

遇到曾經恨過的人時，要微笑向他打招呼，因為他讓你更加堅強。

遇到曾經背叛你的人時，要跟他好好聊一聊，因為若不是他今天你不會懂這世界 。

遇到曾經偷偷喜歡的人時，要祝他幸福唷！因為你喜歡他時，不是希望他幸福快樂嗎？

遇到匆匆離開你人生的人時，要謝謝他走過你的人生，因為他是你精采回憶的一部分。

遇到曾經和你有誤會的人時，要趁現在解清誤會，因為你可能只有這一次機會解釋清楚。

遇到現在和相伴一生的人要百分百感謝他愛你，因為你們現在都得到幸福和真愛。

幸福是靠自己去爭取的~不管是友情或愛情~~錯過了就沒有了,錯過了就是會變的...

** cite from KHEN blog.. Thanks guy.. Those words help me a lot.. Haha..

Friendship......

朋友说他重温大家一起拍的照片，他好想以前大家一起玩，一起吃饭，一起上课的日子，不过这一切开始变了... 他说他希望可以回到以前...

看了朋友的信息后，我并没回他信息。

昨天，很无聊，就翻开电脑，看看这两年来所拍的照片。我发现以前的一切都变成回忆了，那些日子不会再回来，因为大家都变了，成长了... 就连再好的友谊也都跟着时间变了，以前的好朋友变成了普通朋友，而普通朋友却慢慢的变成路人甲。虽然大家还是在一起，可是那种熟悉的感觉没了，只剩下那逼人的陌生感。我在想到底是自己变了，还是朋友变了？明明好好的，为什么会变呢？是我做得不够好吗？还是我付出得不够多？我不知道...

既然大家都开始变了，不再把这段友谊看重，那我也应该放下了吧！虽然很舍不得，不过，变了就是变了，从熟悉变成陌生，从好友变成朋友，你们不再是以前的你们...我不会再回头看，不会再叹息为什么你们变了...因为我知道自己不能再执迷不悟，还在原地踏步了。地球每天不停地在转动，世界也不停地在进步，那我想自己也该随大家的脚步变了吧！

希望我办得到，更希望我放得下...


时间是最伟大的魔术师，
它让每个人只剩下名字，还令彼此熟悉着，

而个性却都完全改变了...

偏偏地...

上大学第三年了，才发现原来自己是个笨蛋，名副其实的笨蛋。 一直感到遗憾在妈妈走前没有跟说过一句话，没跟她聊天。 遗憾是一辈子的，没得回头，没得重来。 可是，我相信遗憾是可以避免的。如果我能在妈妈昏迷之前打个电话给她，安慰她，跟她说说话，那我不就不会有遗憾了吗... 偏偏就是我这个笨蛋大学生，没有这么做。 我怪我自己怎么这么笨。 那时的妈妈应该很需要支持和关心吧！偏偏就是她读大学的女儿不懂得给她，一句问候语都没有...

姐姐说妈妈在医院说过，她等我放假回去后可以照顾她，不用麻烦姐姐特地请假。 妈妈是等着我回去的，偏偏地，我就是迟了... 有时候我真的怪自己，好选不选，偏偏就选unimas，这么远的大学。 如果我选其他比较近的大学不就好咯...

妈妈一直都为我着想，她生病入院，都不肯让姐姐他们告诉我，说怕影响我考试。 偏偏她的女儿就是笨到什么都不懂，让她一个人孤军作战。 当妈妈没有给我写信息开始，我就应该自己去关心她，问她，偏偏地我就是笨，什么都没做... 当姐姐说她要带妈妈去医院检查时，我就应该问到底妈妈怎么了，偏偏地我就是没有...

妈咪，对不起，真的对不起... 对不起因为你女儿的笨，你女儿的不会想， 真的对不起...

失去

六月十一日，妈妈走了，她真的走了，永远永远的离开我们了... 那一天，从北海赶回槟城，脑里一片空白，什么都没想。 在渡轮上，强忍着眼泪，不让它留下，不过它还是不听话的落了下来。到了医院，看见靠仪器呼吸的妈妈，她很辛苦， 而我也崩溃了。 我站在床尾看着妈妈，除了哭，什么都没有做。 阿姨叫我过去跟妈妈说话，我办不到。 我控制不了自己，眼泪不停得落下，嘴里说不出一句话，一个字都说不出来。 冷静下来后，走过去靠近妈妈，一直叫妈妈醒过来，叫妈妈不要在睡了。 我边哭边求妈妈醒来，叫她开眼睛看看我。 可是，妈妈她办不到。我相信妈妈听见我在叫她的，可是，她已经无能为力了，她再也不能张开眼睛看我了。 妈妈永永远远都不会睁开眼看我们了...

我失去了妈妈，也失去了一个完整的家， 因为没有了妈妈，家不再完美。 有时候我在想，为什么妈妈那么快就离开我们？ 问为什么老天爷要把她带走？ 妈妈还有很多东西没做就走了，为什么？我真的不懂...

部落格的第一篇???

部落格的第一篇，人家通常会写些什么呢？我想应该是写些欢迎之类的东西吧！ 什么welcome to my world ... thanks for viewing ...这些话吧。 虽然觉得有点老土，不过自己却不懂有什么比较新鲜的话可以写，所以，还是跟其他人一样，写些“土土”的东西。

部落格的用处到底是什么呢？ 有些人用它来发挥之际的写作能力，却有人用来交朋友。 对我这个不太善于表达自己的人来说，部落格的用处应该是拿来“发泄”或“表达自己”的工具吧！也许没有人会看到我再写什么，想什么，讲什么，不过没关系，至少我有把心里的想法，感受说出来，应该会比较舒服吧！ 阿万你说得对，我还真的不会把心里的感受说出来。 你说中了，我是真的怕，怕说了出来朋友会把我的东西传来传去，拿来开玩笑。相回自己，还真的是很怕事，的确没有用！

那部落格的流行风吹起，那我也应该顺风而行，也来凑个热闹咯 ... 在这不用怕被人看到，不用怕给人拿来开玩笑。我朋友应该没那么了解我，以我的个性，应该不会玩部落格这种玩意吧！可是，我还真的是开了个部落格，然后在里头乱哈啦。 嗯，我看我还真的疯了。